The Perennial Sam

Hello, my name is Samantha.  Yes - I know it says “Sam” in the title of my blog, but The Perennial Samantha didn’t have quite the same ring to it as The Perennial Sam.

 I am a young woman who has worn a number of hats over the past few years: part-time university student, teleservices agent, butcher’s cashier, manager of a late-night restaurant - where I quickly learned that this meant sometimes being a bouncer at said restaurant, Avon lady, fiance, Pennysaver delivery person and more recently, small-time freelance writer.  Notable among these hats is also the one I wear as a young person with a permanent disability in the way of a mental health issue, that being a major depressive disorder along with social anxiety.  My ability to cope (or not) with my health issues tends to colour the rest of my life, which will largely play into the focus of my blog.

Perennial is a word that has come to hold some meaning for me in the past few months.  If you have a garden, you will recognize your perennials as the flowers that return year after year, every spring.  Similarly, a person with a long-term mental health disorder experiences seasons.  Some are good, some are bad.  Some seem as if they will never end, but inevitably they do.  Dealing with my disorder has not been easy for me but through persistence and a willingness to seek help (that I didn’t always possess) I have developed some coping skills to help me maintain some control over my life.  At any rate, I feel like I’m perennial in the sense that these seasons come and go and I am still here.   I was once told by a social worker with many years of counselling experience that people like me generally wound up on drugs, on the street, or in jail as they got older.  Now in my mid-twenties, I am well on my way to finishing a degree in English Literature, while having worked my way through school in an effort to remain as financially independent and debt-free as possible.  Not bad for someone who was told they were destined to be a detriment to society, eh?  (And yes, I am also Canadian.)

I am aiming to provide a journal that will encourage others with similar difficulties, or even those who are just having trouble staying motivated.  I will write of my experiences, but also provide information on resources that have been helpful to me.  I hope they will be of use to someone else. 

By no means do I accomplish all that I set out to, but sometimes just getting by is an accomplishment too, and some of us who are too hard on ourselves need to realize that this is okay. 

Thanks for reading.